I guess I can take some time to record another blazin' bloggin' since I lost my friends. I just took a quick stop in the train station to get some bubble gum and then they were gone. Oh well, who needs those assholes. Plus the gum I got was pretty good and not a bad deal as far as bubble gum out of the machine goes. I mean it lost its flavor pretty quick so I had to spit it out but the first ten or so minutes were pretty enjoyable.
Let me tell you, 9 days in a hostels totally sucks ass! Not butts about it (except for the ass I said it sucked.) You have to live out of a backpack, you have to share a shower and toilet with 12 other dudes who you don't know, it smells like eight kinds of shit in the room, you always have to have the damn light on, you can't sleep cause its too hot and some bombed out Japanese dude is snoring like an asthmatic elephant, and you pay twice what it would cost if you just had your own place. So I don't mind it too much but if I don't get out real soon I might strangle someone with one of the clothes hangers littering our floor. But Dunkle finally got in yesterday so the apartment hunt is on.
The thing I like least about hostels is all the long boring get to know you conversations you have with people you couldn't give two shits about. I just don't care about all these people. I mean I know we are all here to "experience the world" and "change our perspective on life" but I can only take one conversation like that a day. Here in this hostel you are constantly saying "Oh, yeah I went to school here, I have traveled here, I know this person, this is my reason, Tanzania has better parks than New Zealand, my dick is fifteen feet long and I can pee over a semi truck." Everyone wants to compete as to how amazing their life is and how great they are at spending money on a plane and then sitting in a crowed seat eating terrible airplane food for 5 hours. Having roommates is hard enough but when its all a bunch of strange socially disconnected people talking about their jet lag I simply can't handle it.
I am sure I seem like a dick but maybe it is because I have been re wearing the same 7 pairs of underwear for the past 7 weeks. (I wash them but I am just stressing how little clothing I have. Well actually right now I am wearing dirty underwear but normally I am clean. I swear.)
One night I met a unabrowed video game nerd Austrian dude and a heavy lisping pudgy Texan kid. As usual we talked about all our adventures and travels and blah blah and we decided to go have some dinner. They assured me that their Chinese was good so I trusted they could order me something tasty. We started with one of those endless searches involving everyone saying "I don't care" and "whatever you guys want." The lispy Texan kept saying "I want a schteak" in his goony accent and the Austrian kept talking about every single restaurant possibility in existence. I still have no idea what is going on here so I just say "wherever we can find cheap beer is good for me." We finally settled on a very cheap noodle shack with very cheap beer so I was content. The fat lispy Texan kept talking about how our noodles were just an aperitif and in no way filled him up. The only way I can figure he was able to consume his noodles that fast was if he figured out how to eat with his mouth, nose and ears. Kind of a gross dude to be honest. Both guys kept talking about how girls were so impossible here and the Texan was even considering some sort of service where you pay 100 bucks a day for a girl friend. Stooopid! So basically the night consisted of mildly interesting dialogs like this while jumping from bar to bar. And by bar to bar I mean, after we got the kid his steak we drank Busch beer on the stoop of the 7/11. My style all the way.
At this point I started to notice a real change in the two as they got more drunk. The Austrian was at first seeming social with everyone and then was just getting in everyone's face and the Texan was getting touchy feely with the other dude a lot. I wasn't liking where this was going. On our way to the bar the Austrian dude tried to steal a bike, took someone's fries off their table in Mackdonalds, took a box of something out of 7/11, and stole two of this girl's cigarettes right in front of her "reassuring" her with "yes, yes I like." While this was happening the Texan walked around making three very awkward attempts to give random people massages. This is all real, what the hell?
The end of the night I took these bozos to an English pub where they met three Chinese business men. The Austrian got to practice his Chinese and the Texan got to give his massage while the business men got the two totally liquored up. By this time I was sick of em and I met a Nicaraguan dude who was cool and liked tequila but kept calling the bartender a whore. I felt like I was on another planet where no one understands anything about how to interact with other people. After three martinis the Texan passed out at the bar and getting him out of the pub was like pushing a beached whale back into the sea. Now I don't know why but when homie G woke up he was all of a sudden Mr. Into Dudes. All over the Austrian and trying to touch on me. I kindly stated "dude, whatever your deal is is fine with me but you better stay the hell away from me or I will bust your head in." We arrived at the hostel only after our cab driver almost crashed because he discovered the Texan's hand on his thigh. Yuck. My last memory before passing out in my bunkbed was seeing the Texan trying to bite the Austrian's nipple in the elevator. Let's just say I haven't talked to these dudes since but due to the fact that I am still in this stupid dingy hostel I have to run into them every day. It is horrible.
But now Dunkle is here. I am relaxed. The apartment hunt is on and I am ready for the adventure.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
It takes a long time to post photos so for now I will just do these five. The first photo is of Koh Samet off the east coast.
That is Chris and Drew hanging out at our beach view bungalow in Koh Samet
This the whole gang posing for a sunset shot in Penang, Malaysia.
This was from our canoe going through caves off of Koh Samui in Thailand.
And the last is the secret lagoon that inspired the book The Beach. The beach used in the movie was on the other coast of Thailand but we saw that too.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Asian girls with pigtails!!!
Now I am on my third day of Taiwanese life and I am enjoying it. I certainly am in no way figuring things out but I am starting to get used to the idea that I am stuck here for the next 12 months. In that respect it is nice to have so much time. I do things when I want and if I don't want to do them I chill out and I don't worry about it. I will have all the time to do things later.
As I walk along the streets I have to constantly jostle with my shirt so that all the sweat doesn't stain it and make me look like a fat, hot, sweaty, disgusting, westerner. I mean it really is like walking around inside of a living furnace here. Of course no one else sweats except the long haired blond doofus walking around wide eyed with no direction at all. All lot of times I try to escape the heat by walking into stores where I can feel the air conditioning blasting out of the door. I always try to pick the biggest looking stores because then I am less likely to be bothered by someone trying to sell me something in his/her alien language. I also like the big stores because this is where I can see some of the best looking Taiwanese girls. I have to say that at this stage, I understand about 8% of my lifestyle. 4% percent would be the hipster clothing stores because they are everywhere, 4% would be the pretty girls from the not so pretty ones, and the other 90% is a bunch of stuff that I really cannot for the life of me figure out. A lot of times I will look in a store and seriously have no idea what they are selling. I see people waiting in lines excited for something but when I look in I just see a bunch of crazy looking Chinese symbols and a person at a desk. It is all just way over my head.
While I have met some people at my hostel (blah, who cares) and some very nice people at my work, I have only had one real social moment so far here in Taipei. The second night I arrived I said to myself "dammit man, get off your ass and do something!" (then i realized what an idiot I was for talking to myself.) I decided that I would go out and hunt for this "bar" that Dunkle recommended to me called Roxy 99. I know it already sounds like a gay bar. So I put on the same clothes I have been wearing for about 6 weeks and will probably have to wear for the next 6 months and went out. Before I left I asked the guy at the hostel where this Roxy 99 bar was and he showed me the "correct" metro stop to take. The metro system is pretty easy so I got to Ping Pong Ding Dong metro (whatever it is called) with zero problems. Now, growing up in Colorado was great but the bad part is that if I can't see a gigantic mountain range to the west I have no idea where the hell I am. So as always I don't take time to figure that out and I simply start walking towards the brightest lights, loudest noises, or in this case: the prettiest girls. Now I still don't know where I was exactly but their were pretty girls all over the place. I felt like I had died and gone to Asian heaven and had just slipped through the radar. I walked around aimlessly trying to not get caught staring until I came to the end of interesting stuff. This was the point at which I pulled out my map.
I didn't really know where I was so had I had the chance I probably would have just blankly stared at the map and then continued to walk around. But as soon as I had the map open I heard, "hi, can I help you?" To my surprise standing next to me was a pretty little Taiwanese girl. She had a hipster baseball cap, pretty girlish black clothes and was on a mountain bike. I really was in Asian Heaven. I told her that I was looking for this Roxy 99 "bar" that Dunkle seems to love so much and she said "you are looking for a club? Well that club is on the other side of the city and you wouldn't like it anyway." Any girl as forward as that has my heart forever. So instead she recommended that I go with her to a bar that she new of and that I might enjoy it more. So after a nice conversation, some twists and turns and down a dark alley we arrived at a quaint little bar. I tried to get her to stay and have a drink but she was apparently headed somewhere else but to my surprise she said "talk to the bartender, she is more your style." So Joy (her western name) introduced me to Daphne (the bartender's western name) and said that I was a lost American who was looking for a cool place to hang out. It was all very pleasant and I was surprised to be getting such positive attention.
I sat down and ordered a beer and immediately my bartender, Daphne, started asking me questions and flirting with me. I seriously have never had this fast a reaction in the States and for sure never in France so I was having fun. We talked about this and that and I really thought that I was in like flint. However, after about an hour of progressive, slightly choppy English dialogue Daphne's "boyfriend" showed up. Now this guy was a pretty boy with his collar flipped up and the cargo pants and all. I was more than a little disappointed that this douche bag had arrived. As soon as he was there he was grinding all over Daphne and trying to smooch her and I really just wanted to say "the lady has spoken for sir and it is no longer for the likes of yourself." But instead I sat stupidly watching Taiwanese baseball drinking Budweiser and eating popcorn like a dipshit loser. The whole time Daphne kept looking at me when "tough guy Joe" wasn't around and I was a little bummed. I kept checking this dude out to see what he had that I didn't but I couldn't put my finger on it.
That was when it hit me. This guy is a pretty boy for sure, I mean he even shaves his legs, and he has a weird mid section..... wait are those boobs?........hold on..........that ain't no dude! It's a girl! This pushy, asshole "bro" was actually some super, weight lifting, boob eliminating, butch chick. Then I started to actually pay attention to everyone else in the bar. "Well what do you know," I thought, "there are a lot of girls with other girls here in this bar." Here I thought that everyone was looking at me as a white guy when they were actually wondering what this man was doing in "Queens" lesbian bar. Oops! So now I have been drinking beers at the bar "hitting on" the bartender while everyone else is just trying to get there lezbo drank on in peace. Boy did I feel like a jackass.
So I paid my tab and got in an extra sour mood when I found out that not only was this a butch bar but also an expensive as shit one. I would like to think that I have had more successful nights out before. Either way though, except for madam "Hugo" rugby wannabe dudegirl, everyone that night had been very nice and courteous to me and that made me feel pretty good and not like such a stranger. I mean, second night and I already know of one bar I never need to go to again. That means there are all the other places to explore and enjoy while I am here. And there are plenty of other hot, straight, (or slightly straight) pigtail wearing Asian girls for me to meet and attempt to woo in a broken English "you be pretty" sort of way. Hooray for Asian girls and watch out cause dog will hunt!!!
As I walk along the streets I have to constantly jostle with my shirt so that all the sweat doesn't stain it and make me look like a fat, hot, sweaty, disgusting, westerner. I mean it really is like walking around inside of a living furnace here. Of course no one else sweats except the long haired blond doofus walking around wide eyed with no direction at all. All lot of times I try to escape the heat by walking into stores where I can feel the air conditioning blasting out of the door. I always try to pick the biggest looking stores because then I am less likely to be bothered by someone trying to sell me something in his/her alien language. I also like the big stores because this is where I can see some of the best looking Taiwanese girls. I have to say that at this stage, I understand about 8% of my lifestyle. 4% percent would be the hipster clothing stores because they are everywhere, 4% would be the pretty girls from the not so pretty ones, and the other 90% is a bunch of stuff that I really cannot for the life of me figure out. A lot of times I will look in a store and seriously have no idea what they are selling. I see people waiting in lines excited for something but when I look in I just see a bunch of crazy looking Chinese symbols and a person at a desk. It is all just way over my head.
While I have met some people at my hostel (blah, who cares) and some very nice people at my work, I have only had one real social moment so far here in Taipei. The second night I arrived I said to myself "dammit man, get off your ass and do something!" (then i realized what an idiot I was for talking to myself.) I decided that I would go out and hunt for this "bar" that Dunkle recommended to me called Roxy 99. I know it already sounds like a gay bar. So I put on the same clothes I have been wearing for about 6 weeks and will probably have to wear for the next 6 months and went out. Before I left I asked the guy at the hostel where this Roxy 99 bar was and he showed me the "correct" metro stop to take. The metro system is pretty easy so I got to Ping Pong Ding Dong metro (whatever it is called) with zero problems. Now, growing up in Colorado was great but the bad part is that if I can't see a gigantic mountain range to the west I have no idea where the hell I am. So as always I don't take time to figure that out and I simply start walking towards the brightest lights, loudest noises, or in this case: the prettiest girls. Now I still don't know where I was exactly but their were pretty girls all over the place. I felt like I had died and gone to Asian heaven and had just slipped through the radar. I walked around aimlessly trying to not get caught staring until I came to the end of interesting stuff. This was the point at which I pulled out my map.
I didn't really know where I was so had I had the chance I probably would have just blankly stared at the map and then continued to walk around. But as soon as I had the map open I heard, "hi, can I help you?" To my surprise standing next to me was a pretty little Taiwanese girl. She had a hipster baseball cap, pretty girlish black clothes and was on a mountain bike. I really was in Asian Heaven. I told her that I was looking for this Roxy 99 "bar" that Dunkle seems to love so much and she said "you are looking for a club? Well that club is on the other side of the city and you wouldn't like it anyway." Any girl as forward as that has my heart forever. So instead she recommended that I go with her to a bar that she new of and that I might enjoy it more. So after a nice conversation, some twists and turns and down a dark alley we arrived at a quaint little bar. I tried to get her to stay and have a drink but she was apparently headed somewhere else but to my surprise she said "talk to the bartender, she is more your style." So Joy (her western name) introduced me to Daphne (the bartender's western name) and said that I was a lost American who was looking for a cool place to hang out. It was all very pleasant and I was surprised to be getting such positive attention.
I sat down and ordered a beer and immediately my bartender, Daphne, started asking me questions and flirting with me. I seriously have never had this fast a reaction in the States and for sure never in France so I was having fun. We talked about this and that and I really thought that I was in like flint. However, after about an hour of progressive, slightly choppy English dialogue Daphne's "boyfriend" showed up. Now this guy was a pretty boy with his collar flipped up and the cargo pants and all. I was more than a little disappointed that this douche bag had arrived. As soon as he was there he was grinding all over Daphne and trying to smooch her and I really just wanted to say "the lady has spoken for sir and it is no longer for the likes of yourself." But instead I sat stupidly watching Taiwanese baseball drinking Budweiser and eating popcorn like a dipshit loser. The whole time Daphne kept looking at me when "tough guy Joe" wasn't around and I was a little bummed. I kept checking this dude out to see what he had that I didn't but I couldn't put my finger on it.
That was when it hit me. This guy is a pretty boy for sure, I mean he even shaves his legs, and he has a weird mid section..... wait are those boobs?........hold on..........that ain't no dude! It's a girl! This pushy, asshole "bro" was actually some super, weight lifting, boob eliminating, butch chick. Then I started to actually pay attention to everyone else in the bar. "Well what do you know," I thought, "there are a lot of girls with other girls here in this bar." Here I thought that everyone was looking at me as a white guy when they were actually wondering what this man was doing in "Queens" lesbian bar. Oops! So now I have been drinking beers at the bar "hitting on" the bartender while everyone else is just trying to get there lezbo drank on in peace. Boy did I feel like a jackass.
So I paid my tab and got in an extra sour mood when I found out that not only was this a butch bar but also an expensive as shit one. I would like to think that I have had more successful nights out before. Either way though, except for madam "Hugo" rugby wannabe dudegirl, everyone that night had been very nice and courteous to me and that made me feel pretty good and not like such a stranger. I mean, second night and I already know of one bar I never need to go to again. That means there are all the other places to explore and enjoy while I am here. And there are plenty of other hot, straight, (or slightly straight) pigtail wearing Asian girls for me to meet and attempt to woo in a broken English "you be pretty" sort of way. Hooray for Asian girls and watch out cause dog will hunt!!!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
New Perspectives
The sun was bigger and more red than I had ever seen it as I descended towards Taipei. The blazing ball set at the same speed as the plane fell and it was a strange yet comforting. That was probably the last time I felt calm since I have been here!
Now that Thailand is over I can say: "that shit was awesome and I had more fun than I have ever had on a vacation." Our last week was spent at Ko Phi Phi relaxing and checking out the islands around, Phuket for a couple of days, and then one last night in Bangkok. Originally Drew and I had thought that the day Dunkle left we would take a boat to another island called Ko Lanta. But when we found out there were no other boats during this season we said screw it and stayed another night in Phi Phi. Phi Phi was fun after a while and on our last day there Drew and I met our first Americans on the whole trip. The wildest part was that one of them was even from Denver. Small world. Before our boat to Phuket Drew and I walked all over the island (not by desire but because we got lost) and eventually climbed the highest point to see a magnificent view of the whole island. It was actually the evacuation route from the Tsunami that hit in December of 2004. From the top of the mountain we had a beautiful view of both gigantic beaches which was really an eyeful. Ko Phi Phi was really amazing place because you got to observe what an impressive job of rebuilding they had done since the 2004 Tsunami. While there was still some dilapidated buildings and a lot of washed up rubbish, the community had really done a great job to get back to normal.
Our reason for going to Phuket was because we wanted to take a day trip to this amazing natural reserve nearby. However, when we got to our hotel, we realized how much we needed some time to just take a break. Our hotel was only 15 bucks a night and it was our nicest one. Instead of taking another trip we took some time to unwind. We had a lot of things to reflect on and a lot of future plans that we were both ready for. (or not) So Phuket was our time to relax after so much relaxing and we enjoyed it. Then it was back to Bangkok and off. Thailand really was cool and the primary reason why was because I got to go on such a wild adventure with such good friends. Every moment was an experience and everything we set to do we accomplished. It is an experience I will never forget and I hope many are encouraged to have.
So I don't want to go too long but I wanted to make sure that those who have tuned in so far will continue. And by the way, if you have been reading these blazin' blogs let me know with those commentary things. It would be a lot more encouraging for me to know that people are actually reading these things. If you ever have questions about something or have an idea of something I could do just let me know.
Well here I am in the great city of Taipei, Taiwan. I mean holy shit I am in this crazy ass city for the next year. I am in no way *wink* freaked out about being here *wink wink.* I arrived last night with no idea at all of what I was doing. All I knew was that "maybe" someone was picking me up from the airport and that for sure I was and am broke.
I walked through the customs worried as all hell. You see I didn't even know how to go about getting a visa. I only knew that what I needed, a three month visa, was now no longer possible and thus I wasn't sure if they were even going to let me into the country. I got in somehow with a 30 day visa and saw some dude holding a card with my name on it. Well so far so good. As we walked outside he reached his hand out in what I thought was an attempt at a handshake and my giant backpack (which he was reaching for) crashed down on him. I don't even know how to greet people here, do I bow? or do I shake? or should I just smile like an idiot? I have gone with the latter. As we chopped along sentence to sentence I soon discovered that this man was not my boss but just some cab driver who knew little more than I did. As the door slammed on the cab, Simon (his chosen English name) asked "where you go?" Well how the hell should I know, I didn't even have a hotel reservation. Luckily he had the number of my boss lady, not me, and called her. They squared things up and he took me to this mediocre hotass inferno hotel I find myself in right now. Thank god the Taiwanese know what they are doing because if they didn't I would probably be dead or at the least still crying and wondering around in the airport.
I got a chance to talk to my superior and we made an appointment to meet each other today. So for that night I was unleashed on the city that I literally knew nothing about. And it is big here, I mean lots of lights, music all over, people calling me over to eat there pig ears, and tofu squares, nothing like Paris. The other thing too is that I don't look like anyone.........anyone!!! It seemed like Thailand was so flooded with tourists that you often saw more ferangs (white folk foreigners) than Thai, but here it is just all black haired Asian people. I feel like all I see are either 15 year olds or the oldest people on the planet. I don't know where all the middle agers go. I got lucky with dinner because I had soup, a salad, tempura chicken, a big bowl of rice and a drink all for about 4 dollars. I made sure to try every sauce which meant I accidental poured salad dressing on my chicken and some sort of vinegar in my rice, oh well. But guess what, for the first time in more than a year.......free refills, I musta drank me about 4 cokes just because I coulda. It was all quite lovely. Sleep was rough because I kept waking up to heat fevers not knowing where I was or what the hell I was doing there, and that went on until about when I woke everyone up to my french alarm screaming "c'est l'heure de se lever, il est 9:30."
Then there was all of today, basically it just felt really good to do something after so long of doing nothing. What I covered today was what it took my French program about 2 months to do. It would mostly bore any regular reader but now I have the medical stuff figured out, my work visa will be coming soon, I have a schedule, I have looked at apartments and may have found one, I might get to skip training cause I am such a bad ass, and my boss has already told me that the best way to learn Chinese is to date a Chinese girl. She even said she could do some introductions. That part isn't anything great though because I don't care at all about girls........hahahaha not! So while just a day ago I thought I was going to die because I was so unprepared the Taiwanese have showed me that if you are indeed unprepared, just leave it to them. So now I have until Wednesday before I have anything to do and I feel pretty good. Shoot I might even go have a beer tonight, who knows. Thanks again for reading and stay tuned for more nuttiness.
Now that Thailand is over I can say: "that shit was awesome and I had more fun than I have ever had on a vacation." Our last week was spent at Ko Phi Phi relaxing and checking out the islands around, Phuket for a couple of days, and then one last night in Bangkok. Originally Drew and I had thought that the day Dunkle left we would take a boat to another island called Ko Lanta. But when we found out there were no other boats during this season we said screw it and stayed another night in Phi Phi. Phi Phi was fun after a while and on our last day there Drew and I met our first Americans on the whole trip. The wildest part was that one of them was even from Denver. Small world. Before our boat to Phuket Drew and I walked all over the island (not by desire but because we got lost) and eventually climbed the highest point to see a magnificent view of the whole island. It was actually the evacuation route from the Tsunami that hit in December of 2004. From the top of the mountain we had a beautiful view of both gigantic beaches which was really an eyeful. Ko Phi Phi was really amazing place because you got to observe what an impressive job of rebuilding they had done since the 2004 Tsunami. While there was still some dilapidated buildings and a lot of washed up rubbish, the community had really done a great job to get back to normal.
Our reason for going to Phuket was because we wanted to take a day trip to this amazing natural reserve nearby. However, when we got to our hotel, we realized how much we needed some time to just take a break. Our hotel was only 15 bucks a night and it was our nicest one. Instead of taking another trip we took some time to unwind. We had a lot of things to reflect on and a lot of future plans that we were both ready for. (or not) So Phuket was our time to relax after so much relaxing and we enjoyed it. Then it was back to Bangkok and off. Thailand really was cool and the primary reason why was because I got to go on such a wild adventure with such good friends. Every moment was an experience and everything we set to do we accomplished. It is an experience I will never forget and I hope many are encouraged to have.
So I don't want to go too long but I wanted to make sure that those who have tuned in so far will continue. And by the way, if you have been reading these blazin' blogs let me know with those commentary things. It would be a lot more encouraging for me to know that people are actually reading these things. If you ever have questions about something or have an idea of something I could do just let me know.
Well here I am in the great city of Taipei, Taiwan. I mean holy shit I am in this crazy ass city for the next year. I am in no way *wink* freaked out about being here *wink wink.* I arrived last night with no idea at all of what I was doing. All I knew was that "maybe" someone was picking me up from the airport and that for sure I was and am broke.
I walked through the customs worried as all hell. You see I didn't even know how to go about getting a visa. I only knew that what I needed, a three month visa, was now no longer possible and thus I wasn't sure if they were even going to let me into the country. I got in somehow with a 30 day visa and saw some dude holding a card with my name on it. Well so far so good. As we walked outside he reached his hand out in what I thought was an attempt at a handshake and my giant backpack (which he was reaching for) crashed down on him. I don't even know how to greet people here, do I bow? or do I shake? or should I just smile like an idiot? I have gone with the latter. As we chopped along sentence to sentence I soon discovered that this man was not my boss but just some cab driver who knew little more than I did. As the door slammed on the cab, Simon (his chosen English name) asked "where you go?" Well how the hell should I know, I didn't even have a hotel reservation. Luckily he had the number of my boss lady, not me, and called her. They squared things up and he took me to this mediocre hotass inferno hotel I find myself in right now. Thank god the Taiwanese know what they are doing because if they didn't I would probably be dead or at the least still crying and wondering around in the airport.
I got a chance to talk to my superior and we made an appointment to meet each other today. So for that night I was unleashed on the city that I literally knew nothing about. And it is big here, I mean lots of lights, music all over, people calling me over to eat there pig ears, and tofu squares, nothing like Paris. The other thing too is that I don't look like anyone.........anyone!!! It seemed like Thailand was so flooded with tourists that you often saw more ferangs (white folk foreigners) than Thai, but here it is just all black haired Asian people. I feel like all I see are either 15 year olds or the oldest people on the planet. I don't know where all the middle agers go. I got lucky with dinner because I had soup, a salad, tempura chicken, a big bowl of rice and a drink all for about 4 dollars. I made sure to try every sauce which meant I accidental poured salad dressing on my chicken and some sort of vinegar in my rice, oh well. But guess what, for the first time in more than a year.......free refills, I musta drank me about 4 cokes just because I coulda. It was all quite lovely. Sleep was rough because I kept waking up to heat fevers not knowing where I was or what the hell I was doing there, and that went on until about when I woke everyone up to my french alarm screaming "c'est l'heure de se lever, il est 9:30."
Then there was all of today, basically it just felt really good to do something after so long of doing nothing. What I covered today was what it took my French program about 2 months to do. It would mostly bore any regular reader but now I have the medical stuff figured out, my work visa will be coming soon, I have a schedule, I have looked at apartments and may have found one, I might get to skip training cause I am such a bad ass, and my boss has already told me that the best way to learn Chinese is to date a Chinese girl. She even said she could do some introductions. That part isn't anything great though because I don't care at all about girls........hahahaha not! So while just a day ago I thought I was going to die because I was so unprepared the Taiwanese have showed me that if you are indeed unprepared, just leave it to them. So now I have until Wednesday before I have anything to do and I feel pretty good. Shoot I might even go have a beer tonight, who knows. Thanks again for reading and stay tuned for more nuttiness.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Beach is real!!!
We did it. After very little preparation but a lot of anticipation we did go and see the beach from the movie "The Beach." It was totally cool. Here is the story.
We woke up not too early which means we went out the night before, which means we all felt crappy and had headaches. We really weren't even sure how our little day trip was going to work but we had to have faith. After cramming in a fast and soon stomach upsetting breakfast we went to the tour agency to wait for our pickup. We were a little worried at first because it was raining all morning and we didn't want our one opportunity ruined. However, some lady in a sarong suddenly showed up and thus began our journey to Ko Phi Phi Lay. (pronouced pee pee haha)
We all assembled in some back alley behind a tatoo parlor so already I could tell that this "adventure" we had signed up for would be in no way organized or legitamate. After being yelled at by all sorts of people and hearing, "hello! you come here," we got into our boat and were off. I really wasn't that impressed by our group. While the other boat was filled with all young and goodlooking girls, ours was a hodgepodge of randos from who knows where. The first place our captain took us was a pretty cool snorkle spot. We did that for a while and then the boat broke down and we got monsoon rained on. Us three guys were pretty hopeful but there was one old fat bastard that was not pleased. Now I have lived in France and while there I met a lot of great, nice and interesting people. But if I ever meet this French dude again I really will push him into the ocean. Not only did he keep complaining and yelling at this nice thai guy but he didn't even speak a word of english so nothing was getting done except the fact that the captain thought everyone was mad. I thought of offering my translation talents but then I figured I would have to do that the whole damn day and I was not interested in that. Plus this nasty dude was flashing his rock collection sitting spread eagle at the top of the boat in a speedo. Screw that man and whatever man invented the speedo.
So other highlights were a couple of amazing snorkle stops and some of the most fantastic views I have ever seen. Also we stopped at "monkey beach" and got to feed bananas to monkeys. I laughed my ass off and have decided that for me monkeys are the funniest animal in the world. I mean just one raised eyebrow from a little monkey and I was rolling. I think I want to buy one or maybe I will just sneak one over in my suitcase.
For how cheap the trip was we really did do a lot of things but the whole time we were wondering when we would actually see the beach. That was when our captian brought us to the super choppy cove and pointed to a little hole in the rocks and said "you go dere. I wait one howa." We are talking big waves crashing into a tiny cave about the size of a door and this guy wants us to swin through it. We thought he was joking but when he kept smiling and repeating, "you go dere. I wait one howa," we figured he must be serious and we jumped in. It was probably one of the most dangerous things I have ever done but so worth it. When we made it through the hole and after a short walk through sandy ground and palmtrees we found it. Bigger, better, and more beautiful than we could ever imagine. It is called Maya Bay to the technical but to us it was "holy shit dude, right there is where Leo stabbed that shark." The best part was that since the weather had been a bit rough that day we were the only ones on the beach. Pure paridice! We took just one picture with the last shot on our underwater camera so hopefully it worked. It was too awesome.
So that was yesterday and it was really great. I started planning for this trip six months ago with the sole drive to go and see that beach. And now that I saw it I realize that the beach was totally worth seeing but also that this whole trip was worth taking. We have a couple days left before I go to Taipei and I am going to enjoy this time left here. I love Thailand and I believe everyone should go.
We woke up not too early which means we went out the night before, which means we all felt crappy and had headaches. We really weren't even sure how our little day trip was going to work but we had to have faith. After cramming in a fast and soon stomach upsetting breakfast we went to the tour agency to wait for our pickup. We were a little worried at first because it was raining all morning and we didn't want our one opportunity ruined. However, some lady in a sarong suddenly showed up and thus began our journey to Ko Phi Phi Lay. (pronouced pee pee haha)
We all assembled in some back alley behind a tatoo parlor so already I could tell that this "adventure" we had signed up for would be in no way organized or legitamate. After being yelled at by all sorts of people and hearing, "hello! you come here," we got into our boat and were off. I really wasn't that impressed by our group. While the other boat was filled with all young and goodlooking girls, ours was a hodgepodge of randos from who knows where. The first place our captain took us was a pretty cool snorkle spot. We did that for a while and then the boat broke down and we got monsoon rained on. Us three guys were pretty hopeful but there was one old fat bastard that was not pleased. Now I have lived in France and while there I met a lot of great, nice and interesting people. But if I ever meet this French dude again I really will push him into the ocean. Not only did he keep complaining and yelling at this nice thai guy but he didn't even speak a word of english so nothing was getting done except the fact that the captain thought everyone was mad. I thought of offering my translation talents but then I figured I would have to do that the whole damn day and I was not interested in that. Plus this nasty dude was flashing his rock collection sitting spread eagle at the top of the boat in a speedo. Screw that man and whatever man invented the speedo.
So other highlights were a couple of amazing snorkle stops and some of the most fantastic views I have ever seen. Also we stopped at "monkey beach" and got to feed bananas to monkeys. I laughed my ass off and have decided that for me monkeys are the funniest animal in the world. I mean just one raised eyebrow from a little monkey and I was rolling. I think I want to buy one or maybe I will just sneak one over in my suitcase.
For how cheap the trip was we really did do a lot of things but the whole time we were wondering when we would actually see the beach. That was when our captian brought us to the super choppy cove and pointed to a little hole in the rocks and said "you go dere. I wait one howa." We are talking big waves crashing into a tiny cave about the size of a door and this guy wants us to swin through it. We thought he was joking but when he kept smiling and repeating, "you go dere. I wait one howa," we figured he must be serious and we jumped in. It was probably one of the most dangerous things I have ever done but so worth it. When we made it through the hole and after a short walk through sandy ground and palmtrees we found it. Bigger, better, and more beautiful than we could ever imagine. It is called Maya Bay to the technical but to us it was "holy shit dude, right there is where Leo stabbed that shark." The best part was that since the weather had been a bit rough that day we were the only ones on the beach. Pure paridice! We took just one picture with the last shot on our underwater camera so hopefully it worked. It was too awesome.
So that was yesterday and it was really great. I started planning for this trip six months ago with the sole drive to go and see that beach. And now that I saw it I realize that the beach was totally worth seeing but also that this whole trip was worth taking. We have a couple days left before I go to Taipei and I am going to enjoy this time left here. I love Thailand and I believe everyone should go.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Hellooooo.....Massage?
I hear some Thai woman yell this at me about ten times a day. I go walking around looking like my any other ferang (gringo in thai) and everyone wants me to buy something. However, while others are thrusting boat trip adverts in my face or asking me to look at their fish on display, the thai masseuses always yell a simple yet effective "helloooo massage?" It is almost as if they were greeting someone named massage rather than trying to sell you something. We pass by so many massage parlors everyday and normally they will shout those simple words with very little conviction. You also get the even lazier ladies whom you can see through the window sleeping on the mats. I guess yelling "helloooooo massage?" can get a little tiring for a lady.
So far on this trip we have gotten about six massages on five different islands. I can really say that what these women lack in marketing strategies they make up for in their ability to touch skin. Now make sure you don't get confused. Many people think that all massage parlors in Thailand are scum invested shanty brothels but this is not at all the case. While those types do exist, they don't even try to hide it. For example in Koh Samui there was the "Pink Lady Massage" that had scandalously clad girls falling out of it. I never even saw any massage beds there, just a bar and couches. So those are the types of joints we stay out of. We prefer on the beach or in places with big windows so that there is never the thought for a girl to say "we go private room?" or "you want I go all the way?" That simply scares the shit out of us.
Today I received my sixth massage and it was really pretty nice. So far I have gotten pretty lucky with my girls. They have all been pretty young and pretty good looking. While Chris was here he always seemed to have the best luck because his girls were usually the lookers. Dunkle is often about average and then comes Drew. Now if you don't know, Drew happens to be a giant human being. Giant humans are quite a bit of work and in no way for the weak of hand. It is because of that that Drew has always found himself being mounted by the biggest and we'll say "most seasoned" of the massage crew. I mean we are talking the big old ladies. I try to put his spirits up by saying, "well they probably have the most experience and thus you receive the best massage." But it is always nicer to get to talk to the young thai girl.
Today my luck changed though. We just jumped in to the parlor without doing much investigation. If you can believe it we have been a bit lazy even with getting massages. It always seems like so much work to get up from laying around all day to go lay down for just one hour. But today we did it and even though my wrist feels a little broken, the rest of me is peachy. Let me tell you, today, I did not meet the girl of my dreams. My masseuse today was of the short and portly character but with an overall jolly presence to her. I figured, "well, I did come here for a massage so what does it matter what she looks like." I was sticking to that thought until we got to the part where she got her entire body on top of my back and proceeded to smash her knees into my lower back. I thought I might break in half! I also noticed a noise which was at first subtle but rose quickly until I thought she might be licking her lips. Since this was an oil massage I hoped she wasn't thinking of buttering me up like a Christmas turkey. And for some reason she really smelled like popcorn. (I think I prefer Chanel 5 over Eau de popcorn.) Still she did a good job and popped my back way more than I think is healthy.
The Thai massage is a time honored tradition and considering that it is only about 6 bucks for an hour, you really can't beat it. I think if I ever meet a beautiful, English speaking, thai masseuse I will take her to America and show her how she can do the same thing for about 75 bucks an hour. That would blow these girls minds. So I have so far had 6 massages which means that 6 hours of this trip have been spent awkwardly watching my friends get oiled up by the mysterious massage ladies of Thailand. It is all pretty hilarious.
So far on this trip we have gotten about six massages on five different islands. I can really say that what these women lack in marketing strategies they make up for in their ability to touch skin. Now make sure you don't get confused. Many people think that all massage parlors in Thailand are scum invested shanty brothels but this is not at all the case. While those types do exist, they don't even try to hide it. For example in Koh Samui there was the "Pink Lady Massage" that had scandalously clad girls falling out of it. I never even saw any massage beds there, just a bar and couches. So those are the types of joints we stay out of. We prefer on the beach or in places with big windows so that there is never the thought for a girl to say "we go private room?" or "you want I go all the way?" That simply scares the shit out of us.
Today I received my sixth massage and it was really pretty nice. So far I have gotten pretty lucky with my girls. They have all been pretty young and pretty good looking. While Chris was here he always seemed to have the best luck because his girls were usually the lookers. Dunkle is often about average and then comes Drew. Now if you don't know, Drew happens to be a giant human being. Giant humans are quite a bit of work and in no way for the weak of hand. It is because of that that Drew has always found himself being mounted by the biggest and we'll say "most seasoned" of the massage crew. I mean we are talking the big old ladies. I try to put his spirits up by saying, "well they probably have the most experience and thus you receive the best massage." But it is always nicer to get to talk to the young thai girl.
Today my luck changed though. We just jumped in to the parlor without doing much investigation. If you can believe it we have been a bit lazy even with getting massages. It always seems like so much work to get up from laying around all day to go lay down for just one hour. But today we did it and even though my wrist feels a little broken, the rest of me is peachy. Let me tell you, today, I did not meet the girl of my dreams. My masseuse today was of the short and portly character but with an overall jolly presence to her. I figured, "well, I did come here for a massage so what does it matter what she looks like." I was sticking to that thought until we got to the part where she got her entire body on top of my back and proceeded to smash her knees into my lower back. I thought I might break in half! I also noticed a noise which was at first subtle but rose quickly until I thought she might be licking her lips. Since this was an oil massage I hoped she wasn't thinking of buttering me up like a Christmas turkey. And for some reason she really smelled like popcorn. (I think I prefer Chanel 5 over Eau de popcorn.) Still she did a good job and popped my back way more than I think is healthy.
The Thai massage is a time honored tradition and considering that it is only about 6 bucks for an hour, you really can't beat it. I think if I ever meet a beautiful, English speaking, thai masseuse I will take her to America and show her how she can do the same thing for about 75 bucks an hour. That would blow these girls minds. So I have so far had 6 massages which means that 6 hours of this trip have been spent awkwardly watching my friends get oiled up by the mysterious massage ladies of Thailand. It is all pretty hilarious.
Monday, August 4, 2008
The last one got deleted
So I got pretty pissed off at this blazin' bloggin' thing because I wrote a kind and touching blog and then the stupid ass computer froze up on me. Of course all the computers on these thai islands are like 80s throwback comps. You can probably still play pong on them.
Well we just did about two days on a beautiful beach still on Ko Phangan called....gotta ask Dunkle........ok well he doesn't know either but maybe I can't tell you because it is our secret place and we wouldn't want someone to come and build a giant high rise hotel there. I have been really surprised that whenever we arrive at a new place because no matter how "developed" they say a beach is, it really never is. This beach we just went to however, was about as remote and secret as they come. It seemed like the only people who knew about it were us, some stoner english dudes, and a handful of extremely hot girls. I love Thailand because when you go to the bar you can act like a pimp and buy girl's drinks and it costs nothing. Last night I bought drinks for four German girls at a pretty swank bar and it cost me 10 bucks. The girls feel happy because a guy bought them drink and I feel happy because I practially stole them. It is every guy's dream to be super cheap and still get girls. That works here in Thailand.
So basically the past week or so since Chris left we have done nothing. Usually our day starts rather early like 9:30 to 10 am. It is pretty much impossible to sleep any longer because the heatless room starts to turn into a furnace. After getting up and chugging all the water we can find in the room we usually start to discuss our day's itinerary over breakfast on the beach. It consists of "we could go kayaking, we could look for waterfalls, we could take a hike, we could get laundry done." And then we finish breakfast and just lay on the beach all day doing nothing and only moving enough to get in the crystal blue water to cool off. But let me tell you, that is still fun as well. I mean there is a real art to lounging out on the beach and I think we have become the Van Goughs of sun bathing. (that was pretty stupid sounding.)
High moments of this past beach was having an entire beach to ourselves, having the front bungalow that faced the beach, this cool bar we went to where all the workers and owners loved us, watching Dunkle scream ever five minutes as he got bit by crabs. It was a pretty great place and it was cool the the people we met there actually waved goodbye to us from the beach as we wizzed away on a little dingy boat.
So now we are back in Haad Rin and we are going to Ko Samui to then fly to Krabi and then take a boat to Ko Phi Phi. At Ko Phi Phi we will visit the actual beach from the beach so we are all excited. So keep in touch as the stories shall continue.
Well we just did about two days on a beautiful beach still on Ko Phangan called....gotta ask Dunkle........ok well he doesn't know either but maybe I can't tell you because it is our secret place and we wouldn't want someone to come and build a giant high rise hotel there. I have been really surprised that whenever we arrive at a new place because no matter how "developed" they say a beach is, it really never is. This beach we just went to however, was about as remote and secret as they come. It seemed like the only people who knew about it were us, some stoner english dudes, and a handful of extremely hot girls. I love Thailand because when you go to the bar you can act like a pimp and buy girl's drinks and it costs nothing. Last night I bought drinks for four German girls at a pretty swank bar and it cost me 10 bucks. The girls feel happy because a guy bought them drink and I feel happy because I practially stole them. It is every guy's dream to be super cheap and still get girls. That works here in Thailand.
So basically the past week or so since Chris left we have done nothing. Usually our day starts rather early like 9:30 to 10 am. It is pretty much impossible to sleep any longer because the heatless room starts to turn into a furnace. After getting up and chugging all the water we can find in the room we usually start to discuss our day's itinerary over breakfast on the beach. It consists of "we could go kayaking, we could look for waterfalls, we could take a hike, we could get laundry done." And then we finish breakfast and just lay on the beach all day doing nothing and only moving enough to get in the crystal blue water to cool off. But let me tell you, that is still fun as well. I mean there is a real art to lounging out on the beach and I think we have become the Van Goughs of sun bathing. (that was pretty stupid sounding.)
High moments of this past beach was having an entire beach to ourselves, having the front bungalow that faced the beach, this cool bar we went to where all the workers and owners loved us, watching Dunkle scream ever five minutes as he got bit by crabs. It was a pretty great place and it was cool the the people we met there actually waved goodbye to us from the beach as we wizzed away on a little dingy boat.
So now we are back in Haad Rin and we are going to Ko Samui to then fly to Krabi and then take a boat to Ko Phi Phi. At Ko Phi Phi we will visit the actual beach from the beach so we are all excited. So keep in touch as the stories shall continue.
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