Ko Samui girls are wonderful

Well the last time I was talking to all you loyal blog reading people I was sitting in an internet cafe in Penang. Now I am in a laundromat/ travel agency/ cafe/ and probably brothel in Ko Samui, which if you look up a picture, is cooler than wherever the hell you are right now. Sorry. Our flight from Penang, Malaysia to Ko Samui, Thailand was scary as HELL!!! We spent the entire liftoff watching gigantic propeller blades buzzing two damn feet from outside the window. I don’t know how anyone has ever flown one of those things because we were all terrified that the props were going to explode thus sending us to a watery death only after our knees got chopped off from flying machetes. However, we landed and all was good.

I suppose I could tell you about our day yesterday because it kicked ass. We first walked around with our stupid backpacker backpacks getting honked and grabbed by anyone and everyone. We pissed and moaned about hunger and the fact that we all had to pee for about an hour and a half while we looked at several accommodation options. We finally picked a magical bungalow joint that is beachside, our own rooms and free breakfast for about 10 dollars a night. Pretty expensive, I know, but somehow we will manage. After getting another awesome hour-long massage (in plain view of the beach so that the “suckie suckie” option didn’t come up), we went to get some dinner. Basically dinner sucked ass and I didn’t even get to eat. Oh well I drank my dinner and than got some 1 dollar pad thai noodles. We gotta go get another message so I have to finish this quickly.

Last night ruled because we then went to a Muay Thai boxing match and watched a bunch of thai dudes beat the shit out of each other. We screamed and smoked and drank and basically just acted like men. Coooooool!!! After me betting on five matches and winning all of them we got let out and went for a walk. The walk happened to be in the red light district and we saw the hottest Thai girls in existence. Not only that but they were all cheering for us and grabbing us and trying to get us to go to these bars. Duh they were all hookers but it still made us all feel like pimps. It didn’t feel like the real world at all but more like a magical wonderland where frowning is impossible. Luckily we are all good American boys and we didn’t do anything immoral but it was the most laughing and smiling and high fiving I think we have all ever done. I love Thailand and everything here. Now I must go home to try on the Lacoste polos I just bought for 5 bucks. OH HELL YEAH!!!!!!! Talk to you again soon.