Hostels suck so much!

I guess I can take some time to record another blazin' bloggin' since I lost my friends. I just took a quick stop in the train station to get some bubble gum and then they were gone. Oh well, who needs those assholes. Plus the gum I got was pretty good and not a bad deal as far as bubble gum out of the machine goes. I mean it lost its flavor pretty quick so I had to spit it out but the first ten or so minutes were pretty enjoyable.

Let me tell you, 9 days in a hostels totally sucks ass! Not butts about it (except for the ass I said it sucked.) You have to live out of a backpack, you have to share a shower and toilet with 12 other dudes who you don't know, it smells like eight kinds of shit in the room, you always have to have the damn light on, you can't sleep cause its too hot and some bombed out Japanese dude is snoring like an asthmatic elephant, and you pay twice what it would cost if you just had your own place. So I don't mind it too much but if I don't get out real soon I might strangle someone with one of the clothes hangers littering our floor. But Dunkle finally got in yesterday so the apartment hunt is on.

The thing I like least about hostels is all the long boring get to know you conversations you have with people you couldn't give two shits about. I just don't care about all these people. I mean I know we are all here to "experience the world" and "change our perspective on life" but I can only take one conversation like that a day. Here in this hostel you are constantly saying "Oh, yeah I went to school here, I have traveled here, I know this person, this is my reason, Tanzania has better parks than New Zealand, my dick is fifteen feet long and I can pee over a semi truck." Everyone wants to compete as to how amazing their life is and how great they are at spending money on a plane and then sitting in a crowed seat eating terrible airplane food for 5 hours. Having roommates is hard enough but when its all a bunch of strange socially disconnected people talking about their jet lag I simply can't handle it.

I am sure I seem like a dick but maybe it is because I have been re wearing the same 7 pairs of underwear for the past 7 weeks. (I wash them but I am just stressing how little clothing I have. Well actually right now I am wearing dirty underwear but normally I am clean. I swear.)

One night I met a unabrowed video game nerd Austrian dude and a heavy lisping pudgy Texan kid. As usual we talked about all our adventures and travels and blah blah and we decided to go have some dinner. They assured me that their Chinese was good so I trusted they could order me something tasty. We started with one of those endless searches involving everyone saying "I don't care" and "whatever you guys want." The lispy Texan kept saying "I want a schteak" in his goony accent and the Austrian kept talking about every single restaurant possibility in existence. I still have no idea what is going on here so I just say "wherever we can find cheap beer is good for me." We finally settled on a very cheap noodle shack with very cheap beer so I was content. The fat lispy Texan kept talking about how our noodles were just an aperitif and in no way filled him up. The only way I can figure he was able to consume his noodles that fast was if he figured out how to eat with his mouth, nose and ears. Kind of a gross dude to be honest. Both guys kept talking about how girls were so impossible here and the Texan was even considering some sort of service where you pay 100 bucks a day for a girl friend. Stooopid! So basically the night consisted of mildly interesting dialogs like this while jumping from bar to bar. And by bar to bar I mean, after we got the kid his steak we drank Busch beer on the stoop of the 7/11. My style all the way.

At this point I started to notice a real change in the two as they got more drunk. The Austrian was at first seeming social with everyone and then was just getting in everyone's face and the Texan was getting touchy feely with the other dude a lot. I wasn't liking where this was going. On our way to the bar the Austrian dude tried to steal a bike, took someone's fries off their table in Mackdonalds, took a box of something out of 7/11, and stole two of this girl's cigarettes right in front of her "reassuring" her with "yes, yes I like." While this was happening the Texan walked around making three very awkward attempts to give random people massages. This is all real, what the hell?

The end of the night I took these bozos to an English pub where they met three Chinese business men. The Austrian got to practice his Chinese and the Texan got to give his massage while the business men got the two totally liquored up. By this time I was sick of em and I met a Nicaraguan dude who was cool and liked tequila but kept calling the bartender a whore. I felt like I was on another planet where no one understands anything about how to interact with other people. After three martinis the Texan passed out at the bar and getting him out of the pub was like pushing a beached whale back into the sea. Now I don't know why but when homie G woke up he was all of a sudden Mr. Into Dudes. All over the Austrian and trying to touch on me. I kindly stated "dude, whatever your deal is is fine with me but you better stay the hell away from me or I will bust your head in." We arrived at the hostel only after our cab driver almost crashed because he discovered the Texan's hand on his thigh. Yuck. My last memory before passing out in my bunkbed was seeing the Texan trying to bite the Austrian's nipple in the elevator. Let's just say I haven't talked to these dudes since but due to the fact that I am still in this stupid dingy hostel I have to run into them every day. It is horrible.

But now Dunkle is here. I am relaxed. The apartment hunt is on and I am ready for the adventure.